2/2/05

February 1--Pompeii: The Last Day, Discovery
Biker Build-Off, Discovery

Pompeii: The Last Day

Discovery is using the tag line “entertain your brain” these days. It’s an apt tag. Rather than be historic and factual--enrich the brain--they decided the best way to tell the story was to create dramatic re-enactments of how some people might have spent their final hours. The archaeologists must have found people who had some socially identifying traits, though the show didn’t tell us that. Instead, they told us the stories of the politician and his family, the greedy clothes-washer, his wife, and slaes, Pliny the elder, an unnamed female slave, a few gladiators, etc.

The show barely touched on the specifics of the blast; what might have been fascinating explanations of phenomena were instead mentioned in passing. The lava had been inside the volcano so long, it turned to “foam” upon being blasted out. Then it was ash, then pumice, then there were some pyro thingees that happened. “There is no word for ‘volcano’ in Latin.” Gladiators were laughing about the pumice falling, until one got hit on the head with a volcanic rock. Not so funny, and this particular turn of events we are led to believe sealed their fate. Death.

The drama was overwrought and yet silly. Pliny visits his friend in Stabiae and even though everyone in the show has a British accent, the friend has an Italian accent. We see that the clothes washer is a jerk because he says of his slaves “they wouldn’t do an honest day’s work if I weren’t around.” The politician is humane because he releases his slaves after the point at which they could have saved themselves--and the slaves like him so much, they stay.

Meanwhile, hours later, Vesuvius continues to spew death, and the show moves into its second hour. I had to sign off.


Biker Build-off, Discovery

Another forced and unbelievable competition from Discovery. Two custom motorcycle shops are asked to design and build custom choppers in a week, then ride them, and then take them to a motorcycle rodeo where the visitors vote on the better bike.

Adding to the drama is the fact that the proprietor of the Detroit Brothers shop used to work for the Exile shop. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a slow karate chop from an arthritic hand. Ka pao.

Ok, so Russell of Exile in LA is a punk cool Brit, and his “competition” James of Detroit Brothers in Detroit is a red-blooded American. Russell has a nutty trike idea and James a neo retro lowrider. We learn little about the bikes, naturally, but see the guys in their various emotional states. James’ brother loses his composure after opening the “care” package from Russell and finding basic bike building books. The brothers retaliate by sending dead fish and a warning about “sleeping with the fishes.”

The sparks were “flying.” I wanted to change the channel.

And two bikes were built, ridden, and voted upon. Biker building info was limited to a few details about the trike’s differential, the difficulty of mounting Formula One tires, figuring out how to improvise a brake, and banging steel into shape. Another wasted hour “entertaining” my brain.

Can't wait to find out Phil's divining of winter. Talk about entertaining your brain.